have you tried the new punani grille dollar menu? I took my boyfriend on a friend date there and we ordered the poached tuna box and a virgin tina colada, only they brought me the vegan tiki masala by accident. my boyfriend hates spicy food but we could only afford the two items. when I asked the waitress for a courtesy water cup she threw it in my face and licked my plate clean. does anyone know why this may have happened. I still tipped her 3k because it's the only PG location near my house and I dieeeeeee for the pleaser salad with lo fat croton. anyways, happy Monday, and remember to keep boycotting big business. punani grille and all affiliated coalitions raise money to end global genocide. peace and love ! - xylophonewitch0329

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This guy won’t stop texting me about going to the botanical gardens, and even though I can get in for free cause Im a veteran, I’m really terrified of plants. My parents used to dress up as the characters from little shop of horrors and it traumatized me. I keep suggesting that we see the new car crash movie at a dine in cinema but he’s agoraphobic and can only be within a 100 ft radius of his apartment. And I don’t go over there cause every time we fuck his grandma makes us lentil stew afterwards and asks us who was on top. I know I should break up with him but it’s winter and he has a car. Help me plz. - kittencancer666

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when scrolling through Pinterest, I keep getting these targeted ads on my phone to visit the new lego land in upstate New York. I think it’s bc I’ve started seeing this fishmonger who’s really into butt play, specifically sticking legos up him bum and seeing if he can get them out. We’ve been to the emergency room almost every time we’ve fucked which is such a turn off, but it’s next to a Dave and busters so I’ve been taking his credit card and gambling it away while the doctors fish the bricks out of his hole. but yeah I think my amazon Alexa can hear him begging me for legos and has caught on. It’s honestly pretty smart; I’ve lost Hermoine, a whole dragon, and I have been eyeing the new ninjago dojo for some time. I think the Legoland sells all of these things and I can’t go to the Bridgewater mall and get them there because my mom hates driving me to the mall. If we go she forces me to wait in line with her at auntie Anne’s and then watch her try on clothes at Anne Taylor loft and talbots. Life has been hard since teavana closed… xx — fishymarbleshivicky211

 

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Took my wife to see emilia Perez at the Paris theater on 70mm and she’s been having night terrors ever since. she wakes up screaming in a spanish accent and flailing her limbs. the other night I caught her staring out our bathroom window, covered in ponds cold cream, ashing a cigarette into an empty pot of cafe bustelo. she hasn’t smoked since she quit adderall and graduated summa cum laude at barnard. now she only uses her computer to check the cost of flights to Mexico City and refresh her feeld account in search of a butch hispanic transvestite whose enticed by beginners. I want to talk to her about it but I don’t know how. this is new for me. thanks, mrpurple1197​​​

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Dear PssyQueenalinatina,

I was bowing.

I slipped.

where did i drop my -

?

on the dance floor among the sticky beer stains, platform shoe sparkle laces?

(jk)

what will i do tomorrow morning when the sun rises and i cant fall back asleep? do u have it?

iso

sticky platform sparkle shoelace lover to join me in my bed between the hours of 4-8am.

to lay awake, stare, look, touch, rest, anything really.

how many legos could u really fit up there?

love, djknmjvo

p.s. whats ur fav Prince song?

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young stud with clean lungs seeks same

Based in williamsburg 

Let’s just walk until we have the urge to run

NO FEMMES